Saving the Dining Room Table
As I was cleaning and putting away the last of the holiday table linens in my dining room, a rush of memories and emotions hit me. The 2020 holidays were to put it mildly, unique, and I like thousands of others marked those occasions for the first time, without a precious loved one.
One of my first thoughts was, I wonder what is going to happen to this dining room table. As a professional organizer and Senior Move Manager®, I have seen a fair number of families struggle with the prospect of disposing a dining room set. There have been lots of articles written about this very subject. When preparing for a move and knowing that the dining table will not travel to the new location, older generations have no doubt that surely someone will want this furniture. It’s in such good condition after all. ‘I’ll ask my daughter’, or ‘I’ll check with my son, I think his wife would like it.’ Sadly, so far in my experience, that has not been the case. Well, it has in a couple of cases that I know of - mine and my sister’s. Anomalies for sure.
My own dining room table and chairs first belonged to my grandmother. While I don’t know for sure, I’m guessing the set is close to 100 years old. Since I grew up in a multi-generation home, I can remember this furniture hosting many a family gathering from my youngest childhood days. When my mother decided to purchase new furniture, the older table and chairs were sent to the basement for storage for who knew how long. Turns out, just long enough for me to get married and furnish my own home.
I remember going to the furniture store with my mother, sister, and aunt to purchase the new dining room table and chairs. The set also included a tall, graceful, glass-front hutch. At least that is what we called it. Working with clients over the years, I have heard it referenced as the breakaway, buffet, sideboard, and china cabinet. It served our family well for many, many years. It was the hub of birthday parties, holiday celebrations, and Sunday dinners. On Monday evenings it greeted a gathering of decades-long friendships. When it was not my mother’s turn to host her life-long girlfriends, it became the desktop for my weekly creative writing assignment. Since it was in close proximity to the TV in the next room, I didn’t have to miss any of the crazy antics happening on The Lucy Show. The table, chairs, and hutch now grace my sister’s dining room still setting the scene for many family get-togethers and celebrations. I am digressing, but my own family memories contribute to the reason why the dining room table is so difficult to let go.
Who Want’s a Dining Room Table?
While it’s not impossible to find a good new home for well-loved dining room furniture, it can be difficult. One client I recall had a beautiful, beveled glass top table and chairs covered in silk. Certainly, he thought this exquisite and quite expensive set could be sold. Try as we might it did not, and only at the last minute was it accepted by a donation center. On another occasion, I was thrilled to learn of a non-profit group that was interested in a full dining room set. I had a client who just so happened to have one! It turns out they only needed a couple of chairs. Disappointing, but not surprising. Managing client expectations about the destination of the dining room set can sometimes be the greater challenge.
With the advent of the family room, homes were being built without the dining room. Kitchens included an island to accommodate family seating there or in a small eating nook. Meals were and continue to be eaten (gasp!) in front of the TV. Lifestyles changed and became more casual. I recall house hunting with my husband. A dining room was a must have and it proved quite the challenge. We were excited to finally find a home for our family and for the family dining room set, passed down to the third generation.
Gathering Around the Table
The conversations that took place around the dining room table are the memories now made even more priceless with the passing years as cherished family members are no longer sitting there with us. It is the place where girlfriends and boyfriends were introduced, some receiving a friendly interrogation by well-meaning and protective parents or older siblings. Announcements of births, engagements, new job opportunities, neighborhood gossip, heart-to-heart talks, and maybe a few political rows were all there at the table. Older family members regaled us with stories of their childhoods; how different life was then!
And let’s not forget about the food. How many traditional family recipes secret or otherwise, and labors of love were set upon the table? If your family is anything like mine food and holiday are all wrapped up together. Sweet bread on New Year’s Day, roasted lamb (cooked on the outdoor spit for extra credit) on Easter Sunday, happy mistake stuffing on Thanksgiving and the feast of fish on Christmas Eve – just to name a few. That’s the stuff of tradition, eagerly anticipated and repeated with new traditions made along the way, too. Love, laughter, and tears, all spread across the dining room table.
So, it is not about the type of wood or material from which the furniture was made. Nor is it about the quality or style of fabric of the upholstered seats. Although dining room furniture in its day was indeed a financial investment for many. And surely, memories are made everywhere; the dining room does not have exclusive rights to memory-making. Yet to so many, more commonly among our older generations, the dining room table and all the stories told is life itself.
As for my own dining room set, it has served the generations well. It has been a silent companion to the highs and the lows, the gladness, and the worry. It has heard the laughter and kept the secrets. It held my husband’s last holiday meals and stood sentinel as the foundation for my trembling hands writing notes of thanks to all who sent condolences. Love, laughter, tears.
Maybe one of my kids will want it. But whatever happens, it has been a good and faithful servant.